sept second twenty fourteen

The road has been bumpy the past couple of years. I started cheating on the man that means the most to me. I realize this makes me a horrible person. I thought I was going about doing so and not feeling guilty. However this weekend I realized a couple of things. First off that despite myself saying otherwise I really am still madly in love with him. Second that I actually do feel guilty about it. I think the guilt is what made me say I didn't love him and was only still with him because I felt like I had to be. I had a really good friend ask me the other night how I felt and when I said I didn't know if I still loved my fiance and I wanted to break things off but it was also hard to imagine life without him my friend looks at me and goes dear that's true love. I've been letting life get in my way not realizing how I really felt. Now the next step is figuring out if and how to tell my fiance that I cheated on him. I feel like it will destroy him and therefore don't want him to know. But I feel like it will be this big weight lifted off my shoulders if I own up to my mistakes. Anyways it's time to get my day started.